Part 4 - The Fame

Me

I woke up, feeling completly horrible. My head was so heavy and i felt like i had lost my brain. I couldn't feel my legs. Were was i? I opened my eyes slowly. I was in a white room, it was cold and i was freezing. On a chair a few steps away from me sat Bill. He was so pale, he looked like he was more dead than alive. He was tired, i could see it. His hair was messed up and his clothes were dirty. But his eyes was wide open. He stared at me and his body just screamed out how worried he was.

- Bill? i said quietly, it scared me how lifeless he looked. But when i said his name, he immeditly came back to life. He run to the bed.

- Omg honey how are you? Are you okay? Talk with me! Are you awake? His hands were shaking.

- I'm okay baby! i said, i tried to calm him down. Were am i? Are you okay? He ignored the second question.

- We are on a hospital. You passed out last night...do you remember the paparazzis? They wouldn't let us go, not even when you fell to the ground. Fucking idiots. He looked upset.

- What did they do Bill? Are the other guys okay? And how are the girls doing?

- They are all okay. You were the only one to pass out. We were so worried, they are all out there. The paparazzis run after us, we couldn't escape from them. They are still outside the hospital, waiting for us...His voice died. I stroked his hand.

- It will be okay Bill, i promise...But i knew it wouldn't. And i didn't know what to say. But suddenly Tom walked into the room.

- Are you awake now? How are you doing sweetheart? He leaned over me, i could see that he was worried to.

- I'm fine Tom. But my head hurts a little. Are you okay?

- I'm great. I will tell the others that you feel fine. They have been crazy! I'm happy that you are okay. He walked out again and i felt how tired i was.

- You need to sleep honey, Bill said. I can see that you are tired.

- Do you stay here with me?

- Of course. Sleep now, i'm here with you. I closed my eyes and a few minutes later i was asleep.

Bill

I felt so bad. Not because i was tired or looked like crap, but i felt like i was a bad person. I ruined her life. When i watched her, i could see that she wanted to go out and feel free. But just because she was my girlfriend, it was impossible. What was i doing? She couldn't be with me. She deserved so much better than this. All this fan-hate, crazy paparazzis and not being able to go out was to much for her. I could live with it, but not her. I knew that her life was bad when she was with me. I had to save her. And i knew how. But when i realized what i had to do, i started to cry. I fell down on her body, shaking and crying so much.

- I'm sorry honey, i really are. The best thing to do right now was to leave, but i couldn't do it. I had to wait for her.

Me

I felt something on my body. It woke me up, i opened my eyes. Bill was laying on me and he cried.

- Bill what's wrong? i said and i sat up. He didn't say anything and i got worried. Bill what is it? i said again, higher this time. He stopped crying and looked me in my eyes.

- Baby...his intonation scared me. He never spoked like that. I didn't know what to say or do. But he started to talk again.

- I'm so sorry for what i have done, he said. I ruin everything for you. You can't go out on the street, you can't do anything without getting hate and that is only my fault. You are worth more than this. I...i...

He looked at me. I couldn't breathe. What was he saying?

- I can't be with you. We... we need to split up.

Bill

She stared at me with her eyes wide open. She didn't breathe and i felt terrible. I would hurt her again by screwing up her life. But this had to be done. I wasn't good for her. But suddenly she just breaked down. She cried and i started to cry to.

- Why Bill? Why? I love you and i wanna be with you! I don't care about all this around us, i just wanna live with you! I couldn't hear those kind of stuffs right now, i had to stop her.

- Please, listen to me. I'm not breaking up with you because i don't love you, i love you to the end of the world and i will never love anyone else this much! But can't you see it? I'm destroying your life! Everything is my fault and you deserve a better guy than me!

- No that's not true! Please Bill, just stop! She started to cry even more.

- Honey...i can't. I destroy your life! I love you so much...but i can't do this anymore.

I leaned over her and gave her a last kiss. I'm so sorry honey. Forgive me, please. I will always love you.

And with those words i left the room. I felt like my heart was bleeding. My tears was falling and falling and i didn't do anything to stop them.