Part 5 - The Fame

Bill

My heart was beating like mad. It felt like i was going to pass out. What did i just do? The only thing i could see in my head was her crying and devastated face when i walked out from the door to the hospital. When i walked trough the hallway i could hear her cry. I don't really think i could hear her in reality but it was like her crying voice was being played in my head, over and over again. Deep inside i knew that i didn't want to do this. One part of my head said that it was better for her and that she would live happily but the other part said that she was going to cry, forever and ever. I was heartbroken and i was so stupid for doing what i just did. I walked out from the door, away from the terrible hospital, white walls, crying patients, panic...

Me

I could still not belive what he just did and said. I was shaking because i was crying so much. He said that he loved me but why did he leave me then? I couldn't understand a thing in that moment, the only thing i saw was the white walls and i felt like i was going to be here my whole life. Why would he do this? I kept asking myself over and over. Why would he do this? I couldn't understand.


I had fallen asleep, strangely enough. The smell of the sheets were not pleasant, the only thing they smelled was hospital and old people. I was tired. My head was filled up with everything but nothing. While i was half asleep i could hear someone come into the run. Nurses... Time for a control again i thought. I was too tired to lift my head.

Bill

What did i just do to myself? And the most important, what did i just do to HER? I had to do this. I started to run, passed doors with people, but i couldn't see her. Everybody was looking at me and a nurse even told me to slow down. But i didn't care atall. The only thing i wanted was her, i wanted to see her face. I ran into her room, and there is saw her little head lying on the pillow. So sweet and beautiful. I placed my hand on her shoulder.

Me

I felt somebody touching me, i turned my head around. I was so tired but when i saw who it was my mouth was wide open. His makeup was all over his face, he looked like a terrible, beautiful mess to me. He opened up his arms. He was crying. I fell in his arms. He stroked my back slowly while he whispered in my ear that everything was going to be okay. In fact he was the one who needed comfort, i never saw him cry as much as this time.
- I'm so sorry babygirl, he said.
I just hugged him and rubbed my nose against his softly.
- I'm so stupid. You know i don't want to have anything else but you. I don't know what i was doing. Can you forgive me?
I looked him deeply in his crying eyes and said:
- Ofcourse, i can forgive you. And don't you ever say that you're stupid.
I touched his lips, we started a kiss. After a while he told me that i had to rest because the day had been really crazy. I laied down in bed, he placed a chair next to it and sat down in it. He took my hand, started to play with my fingers. He sat there all night, while i was sleeping. I felt secure.

When i woke up next morning, i was happy. But still i wondered, why did Bill have to leave me? Even if it was short. When i looked in his eyes i could see some kind of uncertanity... and it scared me.